Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
by iheartflashpoint
Summary: When Jules begins to feel weak compared to her teammates, she goes to extreme measures to catch up.
1. Chapter 1

**SURPRISE!! Yet another fic (:**

**Okay… So I have a whole page of ideas that I typed up, and I'm going to start working on a few of them. This is another Jules fic, then I have a Spike fic coming up (: Yes… there is some Jam…. Get over it (: **

**Enjoy! (: **

"Haha! Boss doesn't get anymore donuts!" Spike chanted as the team laughed when he stepped off the scale.

Greg shot a stare across the room at everyone snickering in response to his 10 pound weight gain.

"Damn Sarge—Look's whose getting pudgy." Wordy chuckled as he watched Lou poke at Greg's stomach.

"Okay, okay—enough." Greg laughed. He grabbed his vest and the team headed to the locker rooms to get ready for workout.

"So Jules, are we getting together tonight?" Sam whispered.

She smiled and nodded, "My place—whenever."

He grinned as they took separate directions to head towards the locker rooms.

"Ooh, Sam Braddock's gotta date." Lou snickered as he unbuttoned his jacket. Sam cut his eyes at him and laughed, "We're just hanging out—as friends."

"Mhmm. Whatever you say Mr. Braddock—whatever you say." Spike added as all the guys shook their heads and left Sam alone.

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She glanced once into the mirror, then back down at her wrists that she had wrapped before heading out to workout with the guys. She couldn't help but feel weaker than them. It was starting to get to her—the fact that whenever the guys lifted weights she couldn't beat them—the fact that when they slung their fist at something, it would shatter to pieces, but the most she could do would be to either break her hand or knock something over…"It's not fair anymore."

"Jules—." Ed chuckled her name as they all entered the gym. She tilted her head to the side as Greg walked in, not even caring what rude remark Ed was about to place on her.

"Who's ready for a weight trial?" He proposed as everyone groaned, Jules especially.

Each team member took their turn at lifting for a set amount of seconds. Ed excelled the whole time while Sam came in second, followed by Wordy, Lou, then Spike, and Jules in last.

"Dammit!" She yelled, slamming her palms against the metal barbell. She sat up and un-strapped her gloves, grasping her hands around them and storming off to her locker room.

The guys all looked around.

"You know she hates to loose." Greg chuckled once she was out of the room.

No one wanted to say anything, but over the past few weeks since she had returned from recovering from the shooting, she hadn't been herself. She couldn't take out a man twice her size as well anymore. During CQB she could still flip any man out there—but she'd end up on her face within seconds. She wasn't the same—at all.

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"Jules, why wont you just get over it? It was a weight trial—no big deal."

She leaned away from him as they sat on her couch drinking beer, "Sam, you don't get it. I'm supposed to be just as strong as you guys and if I cant do that, I shouldn't be on that team."

"Jules, you're not a guy and no one wants you to be one."

"Are you saying that girls cant be as good as guys?"

"No—I'm just telling you that you cant make yourself something that you're not. We all love you and you shouldn't beat yourself up about this. It was one trial."

"But Sam! This has gone on ever since I came back, I'm not myself. I should be able to keep up with you guys."

He shook his head and pulled her close to him, rocking her gently as she slowly pulled away. She got up in one quick step and marched off to her bedroom as Sam followed, distantly behind.

"Jules—what are you doing now?"

She glared into the mirror, "I look shrimpy—weak—beatable. I look like a wimp."

Sam wrapped his arms around her gently, "You look perfect."

"A woman that tries to be an SRU officer and cant even beat one man on her team isn't anywhere near perfect."

Pressing his lips to hers he stroked her hair gently, "You're adorable—you're not supposed to be a huge woman that scares everyone when she walks by, that's what Donna's for."

"I don't want to be adorable—I want to be strong and do my job right!" She slung her fists at his chest, knocking him to the floor in a single swing.

"Well damn—." He chuckled as he found his feet and lifted himself back up.

She smiled gently and took his hands in hers, "Sam—You always try and make me feel better—but this time it's different. I have to do something for myself and try to get myself back up to the same level as you guys."

Sam held smiled at her determination—but how far would she go to get what she wanted?

Too Be Continued….

**Okay, so not very detailed or anything yet—I already have the next few chapters typed because I wanted to have something to post tomorrow night since its soooo hectic. **

**Please review (: … I LOVE reading yalls reviews during class (: **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks SO much for all of the alert adds, favorites and reviews! You guys are amazing (:**

**Oh yeah…. And there is some major Jam in this chapter… whoops (:**

**Enjoy this chapter!!!**

"So where is she?" Ed asked as he laced his boots when Sam came in.

"Who?"

Wordy chuckled, "Jules?"

"Oh—right—Yeah, she's driving herself to work."

"Oh great, you two had a fight. Will she even show up today?" Lou asked, closing his locker and taking a seat on the bench to hear the explanation.

Sam shook his head, "She's pissed off about what happened yesterday. We didn't fight—she just wants to be alone and have her space."

"But I thought you two were just friends." Ed laughed as he had caught Sam in the middle of his own lie and each man left the room with a chuckle.

Sam glanced into his locker, closed it back, grabbing his phone to check the time—Where the hell was Jules?

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"_I knew I should have done this a while back—." _She spoke to herself as she stood in her bathroom, fumbling through boxes to find something she had been hiding for the longest time. When she found the case she opened it up and glared at the sparkling glass bottle and the silver tip of the needle. _"But is it really worth it?" _

Never in her life did she think that she would feel the urge to take steroids—but the time had come. She new that in one injection she could start seeing a difference in not only her strength and will—but her self-esteem. She would _feel _stronger—and _feel _like she could be the best.

Stabbing the needle into the vial, then releasing it into her body, a tear rolled down her cheek as she felt herself being let go. Her small petite self—who was finally finding herself as a woman in a man's job—was being tossed away. It was irreversible, what she had just done, and when she tossed the empty needle into the case and threw herself onto her bed—she wanted to revere to the past 10 minutes and forget about what she had done to herself, but she couldn't.

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"She's not answering—Boss—can we just leave her alone? She was pretty upset last night, I think it would be best—."

Greg turned to Sam and nodded, "Well, we're going on patrol. If she needs a day off—then she needs a day off. Let's go boys—hit the trucks."

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Lying in bed, tears flooding down her face, all she could think about was what the next few days would bring. The vials stated to inject twice a week—and if that's what she had to do, she was going to do it.

She knew that her thick, dark hair would thin out, she would become even flatter-chested, and her voice would deepen—but all she cared about was becoming just like the guys. She would be able to take them out in a single swing, lift just as much as them—she could finally be recognized as one of them, and not the little girl on the team.

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"Do you want to stop by Jules' house?" Ed asked as he drove the suburban with Sam in the passenger seat.

"No—I think we should leave her alone."

"Okay—what's going on?"

Sam glanced over, "Nothing."

"Sam—."

"Nothing Ed! Okay? I just think that she should be left alone. All of us guys pressuring her is getting to her. If we just leave it alone and let it blow over, she'll be fine. Ever since she was shot she's become ten times weaker and I'm not afraid to admit that. Sure—yes, she's my girlfriend, and I love her more than anything in the world—but she's not going to be one of us—she will never be one of us, and I just don't think she's willing to accept that."

Ed's face dropped as he pulled to the curb and leaned against the steering wheel. After a taking a deep breath he spoke, "Well—we're going to head on back to the station—and I want you to go be with her. I don't care what you say, but she needs someone that makes her happy to be with her if that's how she's feeling."

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A simple knock at the door wouldn't get her to come and open it as Sam stood on the doormat. "Jules—Come on, just let me in." He got out the key she had given him, and opened the door, walking in to find her sitting in bed, glaring down at her hands.

"Jules—Why didn't you come to work?"

"Just needed to be alone."

"You wanna tell me why?"

She looked up at him as he sat down next to her and stroked her hair gently, "Not really."

"Come on, Jules. You can tell me anything."

"Sam—Just—Just let me deal with this on my own. I just needed a day to myself, is that to much to ask?"

So many possibilities of why she needed a day alone, flooded through Sam's mind—though none of them were right. "You're not mad at me—are you?" He asked pitifully. She shook her head and smiled, placing her hands on his cheeks, "Why would I be mad at you?"

"Who knows?" He chuckled, pulling her into a kiss.

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They lied together on the couch by the fireplace, late at night, wrapped in blankets to fight off the cold.

"What's wrong?" Sam whispered as he held her in his arms. Jules shook her head as he kissed her cheek, "Nothing—Just thinking."

"So--?"

"That was nice." She giggled, rolling on top of him.

"Someone sure cheers up fast." He chuckled, brushing his hand through her hair. "What time is it?"

She glanced over, "Past midnight—we should get to bed soon."

"You _are _going to work tomorrow, right?" He asked, wrapping a blanket tighter around her as he kissed her hair and grabbed his thick fleece pajama pants. She nodded, "Yeah—."

"You wanna just stay?" She added with a smile.

He nodded and grinned. "You get ready for bed—I'm gonna get a shower."

She smiled and nodded, kissing him once more as he walked off to her bathroom. "_He's going to kill me if he finds out."_ She thought as she got up to get ready for bed.

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Fumbling around under the sink for shampoo—which he knew would be some fruity smelling girl's shampoo—Sam whacked his hand against a case and lifted it out onto the counter.

"_What the hell?" _

He didn't know whether to open it or leave it alone and respect Jules' privacy.

"_No, I need to know what's in there." _

Sam glanced around, knowing that she would never know he went through her stuff—but he knew…

"_Oh my God." _He glanced down and in his hands was a needle and next to it was three different vials-each full of a steroid. That was when it kicked in, "_Do I run out there and yell at her for doing this to her self? Do I shove the case back under the sink and forget this happened? Or do I simply talk to her about it?" _

After putting the needle and vials back in the case and under the sink—he got in the shower, pulling his hands along his forehead as he thought about what to do.

**Yeah… I know… Predictable, but review please!!**

**Thanks again for all of the adds, favorites, and reviews (:**


	3. Chapter 3

**Enjoy!**

Sam stepped out of the shower and got changed—ready to face Jules without her going off on him.

"Hey Baby." He whispered as he crawled in bed next to her. He cupped her cheeks and kissed her gently, pulling her close to him before they shut out the lights and tried to get some sleep.

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Sam lied wide awake as he glanced over to the clock, _"Two in the morning? Great—At least it's a night shift tomorrow." _He couldn't get over what he found in her bathroom earlier_. Had she even been using them recently? Well, she said that she needed to do something for herself…and she was an emotional wreck all day—damn, why didn't I talk to her about it?"_

"What's wrong sweetheart?" He asked as she rolled over and shook her head, "Nothing—." She replied as he stroked her hair.

"Jules?"

"Hmm?"

"You know what happened at work--?"

She sighed and nodded.

"I mean, you would never—…"

"_Oh shit—he knows—this isn't good. He's going to kill me…"_

"You would never leave the team would you?" _Nice save Sam._

She smiled, "Never—I love you guys too much to ever leave!" _"Phew—That was close."_

He chuckled and kissed her cheek, "Good—now get some sleep."

With a simple nod she curled up close to him and closed her eyes—knowing she was already regretting what she was doing to herself.

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"You can save your energy on the stealth approaches." Ed chuckled as he walked into the station, seeing Sam slip out of Jules' locker room. He laughed, "Hey Ed."

"So—How was your night?" He replied.

Sam glanced over and nodded, "Fine," then returned to walking into the men's locker room and to his locker.

Ed dropped his bag on the bench, "Oh what happened now?" He asked, seeing as though no one else was in the room.

"Nothing! Everything's fine—I said last night was fine."

"Mhmm. Okay then."

Sam nodded and closed the doors of his locker, "Hey Ed—."

"Yes...?" Ed asked inquisitively, shaking his head and laughing.

Sam walked over and sat down on one of the benches, placing his forehead against his palms. "What would you do if Sophie ever did something that you knew she would regret later?"

"What the hell? Is this supposed to be telling me something?" He chuckled.

"No—Its just—Nevermind…I'll figure it out."

Ed shook his head, "You can't just tell me what's going on?"

"Not really—." He replied, standing up quickly. "I'll just—I'll see you in the briefing room."

When Ed turned around to speak, Sam was already gone and others were coming in to get ready for shift.

"Eddie—What's wrong?" Wordy laughed as he opened his locker. Ed shook his head, "What? Oh nothing—I'm good."

The guys nodded and continued to get ready with nothing more spoken of it.

"To the gym!" Greg announced as every sat around the briefing room table. For the first time on weeks Jules jumped up and hurried to get ready, _"I hope it was worth it." _

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"So who watched the fight last night?" Lou asked as everyone got settled in the gym.

"Which one? The one on tv or the one in my living room involving two sister fighting about which Hannah Montana episode they were going to watch." Wordy replied sarcastically, stepping onto the treadmill.

Everyone laughed, "Which episode was finally chosen?" Spike chuckled. The whole team shot him a stare, "Why would it matter?" Ed sniped as everyone laughed at him.

"I was just wondering." Spike replied, getting back to his stationary bike.

"Well—They ended up watching the episode about when she and her friend fought…"

Jules giggled, as she was the last to enter the room, "Did Wordy sit down and enjoy a little bit of Hannah Montana? Guys, I seriously think that show is bad news for little girls—I mean, think about it, what if I had watched her while I was growing up—and I tried to be a pop star? Could you imagine?"

Everyone bursted out laughing and Jules' face went straight.

"Shelley says to let them be little girls and watch it, but I don't trust that kid—That's why I watch it with them."

"You know you love it." Jules laughed. She all of a sudden kicked back into bad-ass mode when she attempted the weight bench. _"Nothing."_ She sighed to herself as she looked at her arms, then laid back to take hold of the weight bar.

"Jules--?" Lou asked as he glanced over to see her just laying on the bench in defeat.

"Damn it." She groaned, slamming the bar back on the rack and walking off to her locker room.

"What the hell?" Sam asked as he stepped off the treadmill.

"What just happened?" Greg sighed, coming into the gym with files in his hands.

The whole team shook their heads, "I have no clue." Ed replied.

"Do we go and ask her what's wrong?" Spike asked the guys as they all got off their exercise equipment.

Greg shook his head, "Uh—Sam—Is anything going on?"

He stared at him for a moment then shook his head slowly, "Uh—"

Ed jerked Sam's arm immediately. "What the hell is going on?" Greg stepped in to break them up but was quickly pushed back by Ed. "You tell me what's going on, right now—or I'll go find out for myself."

Sam's face dropped as Ed glared right at him, "Nothing."

"You're lying."

"Guys, just leave her—" He ripped Ed's arm off of him, "The hell alone. Let me talk to her."

"I'm sick of this. It's like she isn't part of the team anymore. It's just the Sam and Jules show up in here. Fine—go talk to her. She wont even talk to us anymore." Ed took charge, leaving Greg in shock as Sam shook his head and charged off.

Knowing she wouldn't open the door anyways, he kicked it open—only to find Jules with tears pouring down her cheeks as she leaned up against her counter. She glanced over to him as he stood in the doorway, dropping a needle in the process.

"Sam—I'm so, so sorry."

**Ugh, suckish ending… oh well… I was going to update last night….but it was just one incredible night and once I got home, I was like oh screw it…so yeah . (: Anyways, REVIEW!!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello! Guess what! Here's another chapter (:**

**Enjoy!**

"Ju—Jules—Give me the vial." Sam whispered from the doorway as he stepped closer, only making her back away more.

"No—!" She cried, dropping to the floor and picking up the needle, jumping back up and stabbing it into the vial.

"Jules—Stop it. Just give it to me. Come on Jules, don't do this."

She shook her head, "Sam—Just get out of here. I have to do this—for myself. I've worked my whole life for this job, and I'm not going to let getting shot stand in the way of me going back."

"But you are back! You're here—on the team—doing what you love."

"No—I'm just here…I worked my whole life to succeed in this job, and if I cant do it one-hundred percent, then I don't belong here."

Sam stepped closer, grabbing her arm as she tried to step away. "Jules—you do belong here. You're incredible at this job and just because you're way lighter and smaller than the guys—that doesn't mean you aren't an amazing shooter or fighter…you can take down any of us in repelling, any day."

She stared at him for a moment, then pushed him with any force she could exert, "Get—away from me." She yelled, as he fell to the ground, then looked up at her in shock, followed by the sudden appearance of Greg and Ed in the doorway.

"Jules—What's going on?" Greg asked calmly. She shook her head, "I just need two minutes to myself."

"No Jules, I don't think that's a good idea. What's in the vial? Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"Because I have to! I'm weak—I can't do my job anymore!" She screamed as each guy took another step back.

"No—let me—let me see that." Greg continued to speak in a soft tone. All of a sudden Jules pulled a forced smile across her face, "Okay." She smiled, sending off confused looks from each guy.

"Steroids—Jules—You don't need them." He nodded to her. She shook her head, "Maybe, you're right—I don't." She smiled and took the vial from his hand, tossing it and the needle into the trash, and walking out happily.

"What just—?"

"Keep an eye on her." Greg replied, shaking his head and following the guys out of the room.

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"She's running on the treadmill?" Wordy whispered to Ed.

"I know—This is odd…It's like…She's fine?"

Sam mumbled back, "No she isn't."

They both glanced over at him. The entire team had heard about the fiasco in Jules' locker room. "How do you—?"

"I found them last night. She had a case of vials in her bathroom—and I tried to make myself believe that she wasn't using them right now. I should've talked to her last night—This is my fault."

"No—It isn't. That's not your job. She just threw away a whole vial today, maybe she's decided not to do them?" Wordy tried to comfort his words.

"All I know, is that I won't stay with her if she does. She wont be the same—It'll be—strange."

Both men nodded, "But if you two break up—then you'll end the deal with the commander."

"And Greg will have to choose to either keep me or her." Sam completed. "But I wont let it get that far." He stepped away and headed to the men's locker room where he met up with Lou and Spike, and he watched Jules walk off to her locker room.

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"Sam, I don't need this now." She spoke as they stood in her kitchen. "I've never done steroids before—today I just decided that I should try."

"_She's lying straight to my face." _

"Jules, all I want to tell you is that I will be forced to leave you if you do. I wont sleep with a woman that does something like that to herself—It's not worth it. You're incredible at what you do, and you don't need a drug to improve you. I love you—for you—and I wont be in love with a woman that shoots steroids into her body constantly. It's not right."

She smiled at him for a moment, then placed her head on his chest, "I promise I wont use them. Live with me for a few days, and I promise that I wont use them…at all."

He nodded and smiled, "I love you babe—." He kissed her forehead and rocked her gently.

Jules stroked her fingers along his back, _"What have I done?" _

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"So how is she?" Greg asked as Sam entered the locker room the next morning.

He glanced up as he dropped his bag on the bench, "She's—doing good."

Everyone nodded, still not convinced—not that Sam was either.

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"Jules—." A sudden voice caught her coming out of a bathroom stall in the girl's locker room with a small pouch in her hand.

"Donna? I didn't know team three was—."

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She sniped, crossing her arms. Jules looked down at her feet. "Jules! Hand me the bag."

"Well excuse me for it being my time of the month." She jerked back.

"You wont have to worry about that anymore if you keep doing what you're doing. Jules—throw those away—now."

"Throw what—"

Donna shook her head wearily, "Jules, don't go through what I did just to make yourself feel stronger—you'll lose who you really are in the long run."

**Yeah yeah yeah….I made Donna nice :/ I KNOW IT'S A FIRST. Haha. **

**Anyways, Please review!!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**And…. Another chapter (: I know… I cant believe that I am making Donna nice either… I know, its really hard to believe…but whatever (: **

**Enjoy (:**

"What?"

"Jules—." Donna stepped closer and jerked on the end of her hair, pulling out an entire clump. "They react faster than you think. By the end of this week, half of your hair will be gone and you're going to start sounding more like a guy than your own boyfriend. Just dump them and get help—It's simple."

Jules shook her head, "You—you did steroids?"

"I was working undercover. When I would feel scared or insecure, I would tell myself that if I felt just as strong as the guys—then I would be fine. It doesn't work that way though, I came to work one day and the guys couldn't recognize my voice. None of them cared about me like these guys care about you—listen to them—they don't want you to be just like them, no matter what you think."

She fell to the bench and threw her hands against her eyes, "Damn it."

Donna sat down next to her, "How long have you taken them?"

"This'll be twice—I had to trash one yesterday, now Sam's living at my house to make sure I don't use them."

"Jules—I may not be half the determined woman that you are, but I've got a few years on you…listen to me, as much as I am for the rules and wanting people to follow the rules and everything be fair—Sam loves you more than life itself and you doing this to yourself isn't going to get you anywhere with him."

"But this job—."

"It's a job that you're great at—without a damn male hormone taking over your body. What kind of guy wants to sleep with a woman that sounds just like them? I'll answer that—none—I lost my fiancé over these vials of complete hell."

"What did you do?"

"I went to a rehab center where I was put on meds to keep my muscles from totally dying out after I stopped doing the steroids. I did physical therapy for over six months and here I am—back where I want to be—and the days I feel weak I just push myself to try harder. I don't want to be just like the guys—plus, what's the fun of working with a bunch of hot guys—if you're trying to be one of them?" She giggled. Jules smiled and laughed, "I've never loved someone like I love Sam—I don't want to lose him—but I feel like I need the steroids."

"You're an amazing cop—you don't need a syringe filled with a steroid to tell you that you are strong. Just—can I have the bag?"

Jules smiled and nodded, "Hide them from me." The bag only had two vials in it—she had way more at home and a few in her locker—which she always kept locked.

"Will do. Now what do you think you're going to do to try and stop this?"

"I've only done two of them—so for right now, I'm just going to try to step away from them."

Donna smiled, "You're lucky—You have a group of guys who know you, care about you, and want the best for you. When I went through this—All the guys knew me as different code names and would see me for about five minutes before we went into an undercover deal. Let them help you—If Sam wants to live with you to make sure that you stay away from them—girl, take up the offer…you know with this job—life's too short not to have a little fun. You know Troy?"

"Your Sergeant?"

Donna glanced over and nodded, "Mhmm."

"You didn't—."

"Maybe I did—."

Jules laughed as she went to her locker to get her uniform jacket.

"Sierra one, much?"

"Every single call. It helps to kiss up to your boss sometimes."

Jules peeked around her locker door, "Well let's just say Greg will never—ever—."

"I will never what?" A voice popped into the room.

"Nothing." Jules giggled as she shoved her head back into her locker.

"I'm glad to see a little lady to lady bonding going on—but tea party's over, teams one and three are both hitting the streets today—so gear up and both of you be out in the garage in 10 minutes."

"Got it." They both replied.

Donna glanced over, "Well that was close—you can't tell a sole about you know who and me."

"As long as we can keep what happened the second before we started talking a secret." Jules prompted.

"What happened?" Donna laughed.

Jules smiled and nodded, "Let's go."

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"Hello ladies." Ed announced as Jules and Donna retreated into the garage with their vests and gear.

"Hey—." Sam whispered as he smiled down at Jules. She smiled and touched his arm lightly, "Hey." When she continued walking on by she glanced over seeing Troy smile over to Donna, then Donna smile and laugh.

"Oh shit—I forgot my gloves." Jules groaned as she threw down her gun in the back of the truck and went back into the station, heading towards her locker room.

The heavy door opened slowly after she entered the pass code to unlock it. _"If I double up today, then I can make up for the amount I lost yesterday—no one will ever know. I know Donna means well—but this is for me. I need them." _

She unlocked the door to her locker, fumbling around for her extra sets, _"Perfect." _She sighed as she collected the vial, syringe, and needle and stuffed them into an empty pocket of her vest. _"When we stop during patrol, Sam wont be going in the women's restroom, so it'll work out fine." _

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"You wanna stop for coffee?" Sam asked as he pulled the truck over to the curb. She smiled and nodded, "Coffee sounds good."

"I wonder whose truck that is?" Sam asked as they headed inside, seeing one of the SRU suburbans parked across the street.

"Um—I'm going to go use the restroom real quick." Jules hugged Sam gently as he kissed her forehead, "Double—double?"

"Mhmm." She whispered as she walked off.

Sam stood at the counter until he was quickly greeted by Troy as he came out of the restroom. "Braddock—how's it going?"

"Good—Who are you with today?"

"Sabine."

Sam nodded.

"You're with Callaghan, I'm guessing?" Troy chuckled and patted Sam's shoulder.

"You got it."

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"_Why am I doing this—?" _

Jules picked through her pocket until she found the needle, unwrapped it and stabbed it into the vial. She had left her vest in the truck, considering she knew what she wanted to do.

"Damn it." A woman's voice shouted when it was followed by the light tap of a syringe and needle, hitting the ground and rolling under the stall door.

**RAWR. (: Surprises…. Surprises (: Now I'm off to dance… lovely. **

**Please review!!!!!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello (: I really don't have anything to say… but um… Oh yes! Today is my birthday! Yay (: **

**Enjoy! (: **

"_No way—No way is it her next to me." _Jules looked down and saw the empty syringe with the needle lying next to it. She shoved hers back in her pocket and picked it up, opening the stall door to find Donna standing before her.

"I—."

"You lied to me—."

Donna placed her hand across Jules' mouth, "Jules—Jules I—."

Jules ripped her hand away, "You told me that no one needed them—That you were able to work without them."

"I know—But for years I haven't been able to even hold one of these and when I got the opportunity—."

"That's my bag. You were supposed to help me! Not take mine and use them on yourself, what happened to your whole, "we're the girls on the team" speech?"

Donna shook her head low, "I'm not really sure—Wait—Jules, you—." Donna grabbed the pocket in her jacket, "You came in here to use them, didn't you?"

"No."

"Liar…"

"Not like you were doing any better! I can't believe you could do this!" Jules yelled, pushing her away as she tried to place her hand on her shoulder. "You bitch."

"Me—a bitch? I didn't lie to my teammates and say that I didn't do something when you're sitting here doing double doses of steroids."

Jules shook her head and knocked her to the ground, throwing her boot on Donna's stomach. "I will _never _trust you again."

"Fine by me—." She replied, jerking Jules' ankle, making her fall to the bathroom floor as she pushed her over.

"Get the hell off of me!" She growled, punching her across the face as she punched her back.

---------------

"Um officers?" An employee got Sam and Troy's attention as they stood towards the door, waiting for their partners. "I believe something's going down in the lady's restroom—may want to check it out." He prompted, hearing yelling from both women, and with the almost empty coffee shop—the sound traveled quickly.

"Jules!" Sam yelled, jerking her arm as he and Troy opened the door. Troy reached down and jerked Donna up by the side of her jacket. "Constables, what the hell is going on?"

Sam shook his head, "Are you serious?" He groaned, bending down to pick up the two syringes and vials off the floor where they had fallen out of both of their pockets.

"Sam!" Jules yelled as he stormed out and walked to the truck.

"Ladies, I asked you, what is going on!?"

Donna shook her head, "Nothing Boss—I just—We're fine."

Jules nodded in agreement, "Yeah—We're fine." She glanced over to Donna and glared at her for a moment, feeling the swelling in her jaw and forehead as bruises began to appear on their faces.

"I don't think so, back to the station—now—we're speaking to the Commander about this."

"Sarge, no—." Donna placed her hand on his arm.

"I saw what Braddock just picked up off the floor. Now, I don't know whose they are, but you'll both be speaking to the Commander about this—together, and Callaghan—Your sergeant will be happy to hear about this too."

Neither of them looked each other in the eye as they followed Troy out of the bathroom and out to the trucks. _"Damn it, what do I say?" _She thought to herself as she walked up to get into the passenger seat. Sam sat in the driver's seat with his arms crossed.

"Sam—."

"Get your ass in the car and don't even talk to me." He sniped, as she got in and threw her head back, not saying a word.

Five minutes later as they approached the station, Sam finally spoke up, "I seriously don't get how you can lie to me this much. I thought we actually had something. I thought that you could trust me, no matter what. We should be able to talk about work and like we did a few nights ago when we talked about what happened the day this all started, I love you Jules, and I want to be able to help you and protect you but—."

"You told me you would leave me if I did steroids!"

Sam sighed, "I would have helped you though."

"No you wouldn't, you would have been just yet another person who says they know what it's like and you don't! You have no idea how shitty this is. I know I need to stop using them, but I cant—I just cant. They're not drugs like pain killers or cocaine—They're steroids, they make me feel just as strong as you guys."

He pulled the truck into the garage just as Troy and Donna pulled in next to them. "Well, do they really make you feel that much stronger that they're really worth all of this over?"

She glanced over to him, "Not really."

Sam took her hand and smoothed her fingers underneath his thumb, "Jules, I'll always love you—If not like a girlfriend than as a sister. I want you to get help—You don't need to do this to yourself. Imagine what you'll look like in a month if you keep this up. Every time you laugh, we're going to think its Greg. Every time you brush your hair, its going to get thinner and thinner—and soon, my boobs will be bigger than yours, so how about we take these and trash them?"

She giggled and tightened her fingers between his, "And—."

"The rest of them. Plus, I'll spend every waking moment making sure you don't wonder off and buy more. I want to help you—and the only way I know how is to help you stop doing this to yourself, and just support you."

"Yeah, well, now I have to go face the Commander about why Donna and I were beating each other up in the bathroom."

"Why were you?"

"I'll tell you later, okay?"

Sam smiled and nodded, stroking her hair gently, trying to look past the fact that it was thinning out. He leaned over and kissed her gently, "Now go explain why you were tackling a girl." He chuckled. She stroked her hand against his cheek as she opened the door and climbed out, walking into the station as Sam got out and followed closely.

------------------------------

"Never—Have I been pulled out of a meeting for two of my Constables fighting, and ladies to be exact. I don't care why this happened, or what you were fighting over—but stop being children or you can sit out like kids. Any more issues like this and you'll both be put on probation, end of story."

Both Jules and Donna sighed back into the seats they sat in, facing Commander Holleran's desk.

"Officer Callaghan—If you'd leave the room for a moment—." The commander nodded to the door. She nodded and stood up, not making any effort to leave quietly.

"What happened?" Sam asked as he watched her throw her back to the wall. "I don't even know, and I seriously could care less."

Troy walked past Jules and Sam, and entered the office. When both he and Donna exited the room, Jules was signaled in.

"Miss Callaghan, I don't even know what to say." The Commander spoke seriously as he stood against his desk, one leg crossed over his ankle. She felt like she was back in high school—getting a fight, being sent to the principal's office, and sitting their, waiting for her father to pick her up. Though this time it was different—the look on Greg's face tore through her as he opened the door to the Commander's office.

"Fighting with a fellow officer on duty—Julianna Callaghan, I'm more disappointed right now then I think I ever have been. You've never done something like this. You two embarrassed the SRU, you made a scene for no reason, and we need to sit down and talk about this."

"_Oh great." _

"But first we're going to talk about this—." He held up the vial and needle and placed them on the desk in front of them.

"But Sarge I—."

He raised his hand, "I'm aware of what happened, and I'm also aware that as she took yours and used them, you had your own with you. Commander?" He glanced over to the commander, asking for just a few minutes alone.

Commander Holleran nodded and stepped out.

"Boss, I seriously don't need this. I've been blown out by Sam, you, Donna, everyone…I know what I'm doing is wrong, but I have to do this for myself."

"No you don't. You want to—You think you need to be like us, but you don't."

Jules looked down at her hands as she beat her boots against each other, trying to avoid his stare.

"Steroids can affect your personality—and I can already tell what they're doing to you. You have never done something this embarrassing to the SRU before. I'd love to hear what your father would say about this. He didn't want you to be a cop to begin with, but to be doing something to make yourself more like one of the guys; I think he'd be real disappointed."

She looked up, biting her lip as he shook his head at her, "You really, really let me down, Jules." The bruises on her face were a shining light saying that she had been fighting—against the rules.

"_And this was supposed to make me feel better?" _

"I'm sorry Sarge."

"Sorry doesn't cut it. You already have a problem—you're double dosing yourself to see if they'll work faster—and you're killing yourself. A month from now, when you realize what a stupid mistake this was, you'll stop using them and your muscles will go weak and you'll look like a man. I just don't want to see you go through that." He stepped away from her, slinging the door open and walking out of the office, leaving her sitting there and thinking.

Jules held her head low as she fiddled with the threads on her jacket. _"I'm not going to cry—It'll show a sign of weakness. I'm going to get up and walk out with no questions asked. Jules—move." _She sat there, staring at the wall of the Commander's office. _"This should really be way easier. Why can't I just get up and move on—maybe finish off the dose I didn't get because of Donna getting in my way. Damn it, I need to get the ones she stole from me back. Come on Jules—Get up—."_

"Officer Callaghan—."

She swallowed deeply then sighed, "I need help."

**Yay for having a longer chapter today! **

**WHERE IS EVERYONE!? UPDATTTEEE!!!!**

**Oh, and please review!!! (: **


	7. Chapter 7

**Where have I been?**

**Well… I have been gawking at these incredible episodes, and I've been sick all week… **

**Enjoy!**

Greg stared at her for a moment, "You what?"

She slammed her palms to her forehead, "Boss—I said it, I need help."

"I'm glad you understand that Jules. I want you to know that I'll support you—the entire force will support you."

Jules glanced up at him, "I don't want them to know."

*********************************************************************

She stepped silently past Donna and opened her locker, neither of them saying a word.

"What are you doing?" Donna asked suddenly.

Jules shoved articles of loose clothing into her bag, she then unlatched her gun from her holster and laid it on the counter, jerking the clip out and laying it to the side.

"Jules!" She yelled, grabbing her shoulder furiously.

"Don't touch me." Jules snapped.

Donna pulled away slowly, "Then tell me what the hell you're doing. You didn't get—."

"No I didn't get fired—I'm getting help. I'm not going to do this to myself."

She nodded, "So—you're going somewhere?"

With a single swing, Jules closed her locker and turned, "Yep, and no one here is going to know except my boss. You tell anyone—."

Donna shook her head, "Don't worry."

Jules jerked her bag from the counter and walked out, walking past the briefing room where her team sat—waiting for her return, and Greg being the only one that knew where she was.

"Guys just leave her alone. She needs a little time off and we're going to give her that."

Sam looked skeptical of the situation.

When the entire team let out to go home he stayed behind, "Sarge—."

"Sam, I've told you all I can tell you. If she wanted you guys to know—she would have told you herself."

"You know where the hell she's going and you wont tell me. I'm closer to her than anyone else on this team. I need to know where she is!"

"She's not ten, Sam. She doesn't want you guys protecting her."

Sam slammed his hands down on the table, "But Boss! I'm not protecting her as a little sister like the other guys—I love her and I'm supposed to protect her."

"She's fine, Sam. There's nothing to worry about." Greg spoke, keeping his focus on reading a file, just praying that Sam would walk away.

"Sarge you just don't get it!"

"Sam calm down." He stood up, shaking his head, "Sarge, I need to know where she is."

Greg nodded, "I understand. Listen, if you just wait a few days…you might hear from her. Sam, for her sake—just leave it alone."

**Not only did he give her a few days…he gave her two weeks until he started to panic.**

"I've gotta find her." He yelled, shoving things into his locker.

"Sam—Are you guys still—you know—a thing?" Spike asked wearily. Sam shrugged, "She isn't here to worry about it, so I have no clue."

Each guy looked at each other. "I'm sure she'll come home soon." Wordy smiled and patted Sam's shoulder on the way out.

----------

It had been exactly two weeks until she left. No one had told him where she went and he was in full on panic mode trying to find her. That was until he finally found her… "Thank God for phone GPS." He smiled as he finally knew where she was—he was going to get her back.

******************

"Sir she cant except any visitors at the moment." The old lady at the desk yelled.

He slammed his fists onto the front desk, "I just drove two hours to find my girlfriend. I want to see her—I need to see her!"

"I'm really sorry Sir—."

He glanced around, biting his lip as he had to find a way to get to her... A police badge wasn't going to get him past this woman. He nodded in defeat and turned from the door—until he saw her.

A smile grew across his face when he watched her standing there, a shocked look in her eyes that turned into a grin. She didn't know whether to run over to him or to turn away—but her mind was made up when she found herself around his waist, the old lady yelling at them—she felt like she was back where she belonged.

"Why the hell did you leave me?" Sam chuckled, kissing her gently. She smiled as her feet hit the floor, "I'm sorry—I just—I needed some time."

"Well I miss you more than anything in the world—."

She shrugged and took his hand, "Come here." She breathed, walking him over to a table where they both sat down. He glanced at the worried look in her eyes. "We miss you so—."

"Sam, I'm not coming back."

**GAH. Freakin LAME chapter… Oh well… Review!! (: **


	8. Chapter 8

"Not coming…back?"

Jules shook her head, "I just cant—not after all of this—but Sam, think about it, if I don't come back—we can actually be together."

"But we can be together and work together—we can make it work!"

"Sam, If I don't come back—we could actually stay together. And if things work out—maybe have a family together."

Sam stood up and sighed, "Jules—I want to be with you more than anything—I want to have a family with you—But if that means you not coming back to the SRU—then I'd rather you work with me. I wont let you give up all you've worked for your entire life because of this. You can get through this—return to work—_then_ we can be together."

Jules sank back into her chair and shrugged, "I don't know if I can get through this though."

"You can—I know you can. Donna gave them up. She's been clean since you left—And I know that if she can quit cold turkey then you can definitely get over this. Come on—please?"

She shook her head and stood up. "I'm sorry Sam." She whispered, kissing him gently and turning around to walk back to her room. Sam chased after her, "Jules!" He yelled only to be stopped by a security guard. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Jules stood on the other side of a doorway, watching Sam fight to talk to her.

"I just need to tell her something!"

"Sir, you need to leave."

"Move it! I need to see her—."

"Sir—."

Jules appeared around the corner, "What is it?" She sniped. The security guard moved over and let them talk.

"You—You don't have to come back, or well—You can think about this… If that's what you want then I wont fight you on it. Come back with me…You don't need this place, you're strong enough to do this on your own."

"Sam—I don't know."

"Come on! Just get your stuff and check out of here—we can go back to your place, drink smoothies, and finish priming the drywall."

Jules giggled and pulled him into a hug, "I have missed my drywall."

"Then lets go—." He stated eagerly.

She smiled and nodded, "Okay—I'll do it."

--------------------------------------------------------

"I cant believe I just left like that." Jules breathed as she sat in the passenger seat of Sam's truck he had bought.

He took her hand, "We're gonna get through this and be together. You don't need that place—I missed you too much."

"I missed you too." She whispered, leaning over to kiss him.

They sat with a moment of silence until Jules spoke suddenly, "Let's not go back."

Sam woke from a state of focusing on the traffic passing them and looked over, "What?"

"We could—just go somewhere and be together."

"Jules—we're going back to your place and we're getting you better. I'm staying with you and you're never touching another steroid in your life."

"No—I don't want to be in Toronto anymore."

He shook his head, "Jules, you aren't thinking straight. Let's just get you home and then everything will go back to normal."

"No it wont. I've embarrassed myself in front of my team, nothing can go back to being normal."

"I'm getting you home." He stated, taking her hand. "We're going to think about this before you _and _me do anything stupid."

"I've already made one stupid mistake, what's another? Come on Sam—Don't turn into the city—we can forget work, forget any mistakes we've made in our lives—."

Sam thought back to every mistake he had made in his life—they were approaching the exit to head into the city.

"Sammy, I don't think I can ever get better and return to work like everything is normal…and I don't want to have to give explanations. Let's just go—get away for a few days. Turn off our phone's GPS's and I can get back on my feet."

"But Jules—."

"Sam—please."

He took one look at her, then watched the CN Tower pass out of their view. "I love you." He mumbled, driving right past the last straight exit into Toronto. She smiled and gripped his hand, "I love you too."

About an hour and a half away from the city it was getting darker out. "Wanna stop?" He asked. She nodded, "What do you think we should do?"

"You tell me." He chuckled, "If it were up to me, we would be painting your house right now."

"Well we aren't." She sniped, "Let's go—um—There's a motel a few miles from here."

He nodded, "I say we settle in for the night and think clearly about this."

"Whatever you say—." She teased, stroking the palm of his hand.

They crashed onto a hotel bed around eight o'clock that night. "Romantic motel—." Sam chuckled, brushing his fingers through her hair. "I know right? I'm pretty sure I saw a cockroach welcoming us at the front desk." She replied.

Sam laughed and pulled his shirt over his head, "Oh well, better than the backseat of my truck I guess."

"My jeep is better."

Sam laughed, "Yeah, nothing like the Canadian breeze."

He held onto her until around two am. "Jules?"

"Yeah—?" She asked, rolling over and placing her head on his chest.

"Are we sure about this?"

"What do you mean?" She whispered, running a thumb over his cheek.

"I mean—are we moving too fast? Should we have just gone home and waited on this—thought straight."

She shook her head, "We are thinking straight. You know—I haven't thought about steroids all night? When I was sitting at that center, all I could think about was being stronger, feeling weak…tonight—I've felt stronger than ever because I was with you."

Sam sighed and smiled, "Good."

"_Damn it what have I gotten myself into? If I don't show up for work tomorrow, I'll lose my job. I've got to get her home—but then she may kill me for that. Damn it Sam—Tell her she's wrong, tell her that she's not in her right mind." _

"But Jules—."

"I'm so glad we're moving away from this. As long as I can put that behind me and move on, I'll be okay…Thanks for being here for me."

He nodded slowly, "Anytime—."

"_Whatta loser. You can't even stand up to your own girlfriend?" _

He held onto her and kissed her gently. _"Sam—you've ruined your future at the SRU in one night. How do you feel about this?" _He asked himself as he watched Jules doze off. _"I'm screwed." _He tousled Jules' hair and tried to get some sleep—Fail. He didnt even realize that it was seven in the morning until he heard his phone ring on the nightstand.

"Boss—."

***

"Why aren't you at work, Sam?"

***

"I just—I'm dealing with something. I'll try my best to get back to work by tonight—I just—."

***

"Sam, is she really worth losing your job over?"

***

Sam was startled by his statement. He knew very well that he was with Jules—but he thought that Greg thought of her as a daughter, he would never tell him to chose work over her would he?

"Excuse me?"

***

"I'm just saying…neither of you should let this affect your job. You're both incredible cops who belong here on team one."

***

"Sammy?" Jules mumbled as she hobbled out of bed and towards the small bathroom where he was whispering on the phone.

"Sarge, I gotta go—I'll—I'll try my best to be there."

***

"But Sam—." The call ended.

--------

"Who was that?" Jules asked calmly, taking Sam's hand and leading him to a chair.

"An old friend."

She glanced at him wearily, "Why at 7 am?"

"He's in a different time zone—he was just heading off to work."

She smiled and nodded, "Well good morning."

Sam wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, "Jules—Listen to me—We cant do this."

She raised her head and shook it slowly, "But you said—"

"Jules, we're going home—I wont let you ruin my job for me—and I wont let myself ruin your entire career for you."

**Rawr. Another crappy ending… Well I'm going to bed. I've posted three updates today… this is progress (: **

**Please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

Jules glared at him for a moment, a crooked stare breaking between them. "What are you saying?"

"I—I have to go to work Jules—I cant give up my job."

"So, you're leaving me?"

"I didn't say that—I want you to come back with me."

She shook her head, "I'm not going. Nobody can change my mind."

"But Jules, we need you out there—Please? Please just go get in the car and we can head back to Toronto. I'll stay with you and we can get you through all of this—together."

She walked around the room, throwing on a new shirt and changing into jeans. "Jules, what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm out of here. Go back to work—I don't need you."

Sam jerked her arm, "Let's just go back together!"

"No—." She stated solidly, grabbing her back and hanging it over her shoulder. She walked up to him and placed her hand on his cheek, pulling him lower to kiss him gently, "I'm sorry Sam." She turned and walked out of the motel room, dashing down the hall.

_Damn it. _"Jules—Get back here—Don't do this." Sam yelled, chasing after her. She paced quickly through the front doors, running over to the taxi. "I need to get to the airport." She stated, "Fast—."

"Jules!" Sam yelled, seeing her glance back once and climb into the taxi. Before he could make his way to it—the yellow cab was lit up and headed towards the highway.

"_Damn it Sam—Why?" _

*******

"I need a ticket to Medicine Hat—."

"Okay Ma'am—let me see when the next flight out is."

Jules stood at one of the ticket desks of the smaller airport, getting antsy as she tried to stand still. She kept checking over her shoulder to make sure Sam hadn't found her—and was thankful when the lady handed her a ticket.

"The next flight leaves in about 20 minutes—you're in luck."

Jules nodded and grabbed her Passport and ticket, taking her back on her arm and walking over to a chair. She slipped her hand into her purse to check her phone.

_7 missed calls. _

It was only 8:20 am.

_Missed Call: Sam 7:39 am_

_Missed Call: Sam 7:43 am_

_Missed Call: Sam 7:45 am_

_Missed Call: Sam 7:49 am_

_Missed Call: Sam 7:53 am_

_Missed Call: Sam 7:58 am_

_Missed Call: Sarge 8:06 am _

She sunk down into the chair, glancing at the fact that Sam had probably called Greg back and told him to attack her with a phone call.

"Hey Boss—You called?"

***

"Everything okay Jules?" He asked in a worried tone.

***

She sighed, "Yeah, everything's just fine."

***

"Well that's not what I heard. Where are you?"

***

"I'm just out—I'm fine Boss, really."

***

Greg shrugged, "According to Sam you ran off. Wanna tell me why you don't wanna come back and see me?"

***

She giggled and softened her tone, "I just need a little time alone Sarge, Okay?"

***

"Just be safe, okay? You got your gun with you?"

***

"No—I'm fine without it."

***

"Just—take care of yourself, Jules. You know how much we all love you, right? Get somewhere safe and just calm down for a moment. Sam's worried to death about you. I haven't told the other guys whats going on so I'm just going to keep it between us three. You call me if you need anything—And I mean that. I can come get you if you want me to."

***

"Boss, I'm okay. I don't need anything—You guys just get to work. I'm good."

***

Greg nodded, "I'll check in on you later—you better answer your phone or I'll send Mr. Lane after you."

***

She laughed, Greg could always make her laugh at the most stressful moments, "Okay—Okay. Bye Sarge."

***

"Bye Jules—Be careful."

----- The Call Ended----

"Flight 391 to Medicine Hat is now boarding." The speaker announced.

Jules gathered her things and headed towards the terminal—She was going home.

**********************

Sam drove frantically back to Toronto. His main attempt was to get Greg to help him find her—but little did he know that he allowed her to continue to leave.

**********************

The plane ride was short—but worth it. Arriving at the airport in the town she grew up in was like a million memories thrown into one. She remembered the day that she said goodbye to it all and headed to the city.

"_You're really gonna leave, aren't you?" Her oldest brother, Josh, chuckled. _

"_I'll come back—I promise."_

_He shook his head, "No you wont you little runt—You'll leave us all here in the dust. You be safe now, ya hear?" _

_She smiled and nodded, him pulling his little sister into his arms, "Call me when you get to your new apartment. I want to make sure you're okay."_

_Her flight was called moments later. _

"_See you at Thanksgiving?" He asked. She nodded and turned away—heading off to start her new life away from her past. _

"_Hey Sis!" He called out, causing her to look back. He chucked a small frame over to her. "Don't forget what I look like." He laughed. She smiled as she glanced down to see the picture of she and her brothers all playing together. "Don't worry—." She sighed as a tear ran down her cheek. She walked back over to him and hugged him tightly—him kissing the top of her head gently, "I wont." She stated. _

_He nodded and sent her off. "Sis—Watch your back out there."_

She glanced around as she walked through the terminal, "Hey Sis—." A voice called out. She turned away and looked down, knowing it was just flashbacks coming to her mind. Jules headed over to the desk to call a taxi.

"Sis!" The voice repeated.

She turned around just as someone jerked her into a hug. "Its been ten years since you promised to come back you runt."

Her oldest brother's arms were tightly around her, "Josh?"

"And I haven't seen you in over three years. What are you doing here?" He smiled, pulling her within arms length.

A tear ran down her cheek suddenly, "I just—I just needed to come back for a while. You know—get away. What are you doing here?"

"I'm working here now—Airport security. After so many years with the RCMP my knees gave out and I figured it was time to take a few steps back. So, which guy do I need to smack for making you run home to us?"

She giggled, "I missed you so much."

"You didn't answer my question." He chuckled, rocking her in his arms.

"I'm fine—Just glad to be home."

He nodded, "I'm gonna go tell my Boss that I'm gonna head home for the day. Go take a seat."

"Oh, back to bossing me around I see?" She laughed.

"You know it." He chuckled, walking past her as she took a seat and waited for him to return.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Boss-where is she?"

***

"Sam, she's fine—Just leave it alone and come back."

***

Sam gave up, he threw his phone down in the passenger seat and kept driving. It wasn't fair to him that he didn't know where she was—but it wasn't fair to her to continue to follow her around.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So—this is a pretty big surprise—where should we go?" Josh asked her as they rode down the street.

"You're living with Dad right now, right?"

Josh chuckled, "Yeah—After Stephanie and I broke off our engagement, I've been living off of Dad ever since."

"And what about Jerry, Matt, and Sean?"

"Jerry's living with a single mom and her daughter—they're getting very close. I think he was actually going to ask her to get married and then he woosed out. Sean is working for the RCMP again—still trying to take over his little sister's records. Then Matt was living with Dad and I for a while, now he's on his own in Calgary. I saw him last year—he was lookin well."

She giggled, "I missed you guys a lot. How's Dad?"

"The old man's been getting sick a lot. I've been helping him around the farm. But other than that he's doing okay. So—tell me—How are you?"

She sighed, "I'm fine. I finally moved out of my apartment and bought a house. All the guys on the team are what keeps me moving every day."

"Any boys I should know about?"

Jules laughed and glanced over to him, "You always worried about me and boys—but yeah, one of my teammates."

"Ooh, someone's become a dare devil, going against the rules?"

"Sort of—But for a time we weren't." She shrugged. None of her family ever knew about her being shot—ever—Greg had sworn to not call her father because she knew he wouldn't want her going back out there due to the physical _and _mental issues being shot would send off to her.

"What?" Josh asked as they slowed to the stoplight. Jules looked out the window for a moment then back over to him. She lifted the side of her shirt slowly. "Nice scar runt, what did you do?"

"HK G3."

He slammed on brakes at the next light, "What!?"

"A bullet decided to join my liver."

"Why didn't you call me—or dad—or somebody?"

She shook her head, "I didn't want any of you guys to worry about me."

"Jules, you're my baby sister—of course I'm going to worry about you. Every day I get up and walk down stairs, I walk right past your old room and I think about how much you risk every day by going out there. How bad was it?"

"It was out for a few months. I just got back a few weeks ago—Its been pretty okay."

He looked over to see a weary look on her face, "You sure about that?"

She nodded slowly, "Yeah—Its just been rough getting my body back to be able to keep up and stuff."

"I'm sure you're just fine. Remember when you were seven and you broke your arm in a fight with that kid, Cody?"

Jules giggled, "Yeah—and after three weeks of wearing a cast—I finished that fight the day I got it taken off."

"You'll be fine. You've always been a tough one—." He laughed, shaking her shoulder as they pulled into the driveway.

"You guys haven't changed it in 10 years?"

He shook his head and climbed out of the truck, "Nope—Now lets head inside. Dad's gonna freak when he sees you. You've grown up—."

"It's been five years since I last saw Dad—I hope he remembers he has a daughter."

"Trust me—He remembers that he has a daughter." He chuckled, placing a hand on her back and leading her to the front door.

"Hey Pa, get down here—." Josh yelled, "Hold on Boy—I'm coming." His father replied slowly making his way down the hallway and towards the stairs.

Jules' ankles trembled as she waited to see her dad for the first time in years. So much had happened to her in just these past few months that maybe it was good for her to bring back the past.

"Stay here." Josh told her, walking around the corner. He helped their father down the steps, a man growing older as his children did too.

"Daddy?" She whispered, seeing her father light up.

"Julianna—." He mumbled back, letting go of his son's arm and walking slowly over to her. He traced a finger through her dark hair and smiled, "Is it really you?"

She nodded, "Yeah Dad—Its really me." Jules giggled as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close, "What brings you home?"

"Just wanted to get away for a while. How are you doing?"

"Age is taking its toll on me. You look good though—how's work?"

She sighed and nodded, "Its going good. It's nice to come home though. I missed you, Dad."

"I missed you too baby girl." He stuttered, holding her tightly to not let go. "Every day I wake up knowing that you're out there working such a dangerous job…but then I realize what a tough little girl you are."

"I'm not a little girl anymore dad—." She stated, hugging him once more. "But I'm glad you think of me."

"Well, I just don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to you."

She sighed, smiled, and turned to the stairs, "I'm gonna go make a phone call—I'll be back in a few." She told them. They both nodded and watched her make her way upstairs.

"Sam?"

****

"Jules—Thank God you're okay. Where are you?"

****

"I just needed to get away for a bit, okay? I just—I really need some time Sam."

****

He gave in and nodded, "Well I'm glad you're okay. You call me if you need anything."

****

"Tell the boss that I'm okay—I'm really sorry about earlier."

****

Sam sighed, "Don't worry about it. I'll see you soon, right?"

****

"Of course." She spoke softly, hanging up.

------

"Who was that…" Josh chuckled at the doorway of the bathroom where she was hiding.

"No one—." She giggled and traced out of the room, "Eavesdropping like always?"

"You know it—Have you seen your room yet?"

"Nope." She smiled, as he took her hand and led her down the hallway. The light switched on quickly but flickered once. "You've changed—haven't you?"

She grinned and nodded, slowly walking into her old bedroom. "You never changed it."

"We couldn't—."

She walked over and sat down on her old bed, taking one of the light pink pillows into her arms. "Josh—." She stated.

"Yeah?" He asked, sitting down next to her and grabbing her stuffed dog from where it rested on the headboard.

"I've been through a lot these past few weeks."

"You aren't yourself at all—Wanna tell me what's going on? We can keep it between us."

She nodded, "I—When I—When I returned from recovery, I wasn't keeping up as well because I hadn't been working out for a while. I needed to get back into the swing of things." She paused and looked over at him with weary eyes, "I did steroids—."

**So…. This chapter became a tad bit long…oops. Well, I haven't updated in a while so I decided to throw a lot into the chapter. Haha. I was trying to get away from the whole Sam and Jules things… So I pulled her family into it… mwwaahaha. **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	10. Chapter 10

Josh stared at her for a moment in complete silence.

"Say something—." She mumbled, the silence becoming unbearable.

"Jules I—There's really nothing I can say. You're my little sister—and just—You're way to tough to need steroids."

She looked down at her hands, "I've ruined everything."

"No you haven't—Did you go anywhere?"

"I just left, one of my teammates was going to help me get through this. I couldn't stay at that place any longer, it made me worse."

Josh shook his head and pulled her into a hug, "Well—you're home now—and until you're ready to get back out there, you can stay here as long as you want."

"You're not mad?"

He glanced at the tears in her eyes and smiled, "I cant be mad, being mad isn't going to make anything better."

She smiled softly and wiped a few tears from her eyes, "I—I—I'm so glad I came home."

Josh nodded and brushed her bangs from her forehead—

"I wouldn't be glad to be here right now if I was you—." A sudden voice broke from the hallway.

Jules looked up to see her father standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. He shook his head once and turned, marching away angrily.

"Daddy—." She sobbed, knowing she had disappointed him beyond belief.

Josh pulled her close, "I'll deal with him."

"No—I have to." She stated, throwing a hand across her eyes to absorb tears.

He nodded, "He'll understand—If you tell him what happened."

"But he wont let me go back out there."

"As much as I don't want to believe it—you're a grown woman, you don't need your father's permission."

Jules looked him in the eye and nodded, "I just cant lose his support." She stood up and pressed her fingers together, walking out of her room and down to her father's room.

"You guys haven't changed this place a bit." She spoke softly. Her father lied on his back, on the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

"No reason to."

She smiled and looked around, walking over to the nightstand. "I haven't seen a picture of Mom in years." She lifted a frame into her hands and a tear fell slowly.

"You look just like her."

Jules grinned and sat down next to him on his bed, "Dad—."

"Julianna, why?" He stated, sitting up against the headboard.

"I've had a rough few months."

"Oh no—Not another boy—."

She giggled, "There is one—but he's not the issue."

Her father smiled softly, "What happened…"

She looked down at her hands and kept her eye contact at a minimum.

"Tell me—."

Jules ignored him from a moment. She stood up and walked across the room to see a wall covered in plaques and awards. "Why did you leave?"

"What?"

"Why did you quit—why did you take us all the way out here?"

"I had my reasons—."

She looked back at him then back at the wall, "I was shot."

"You what?" He knew what she had said, but he just had to clarify it.

"A sniper—at City Hall. He was trying to get revenge because Ed Lane killed his father. He came to shoot Ed—but I—."

"Why didn't you have a shield young lady?"

She glanced over at him as he stood up and walked over next to her. "I did—I also had a partner, a vest, a helmet—everything."

"Then why the hell were you shot!"

"He was taking out officers—trying to draw Ed out."

Her father pressed his palms to his forehead, "I cant believe this. You're not—."

"Going back? Yes I am."

"No—No the hell you aren't. I'm not going to have your Sergeant calling me up one day to tell me that my little girl's body is lying in a morgue with a fatal gunshot wound."

She cringed as he spoke.

"This isn't a woman's job. A woman's job is to stay home with the kids—pack school lunches and go to the store. You don't belong out there."

She bit her lip and shook her head, "You're wrong—."

"What did you just say to me?"

"You're wrong—you're wrong about everything. I'm able to do this job, I don't belong at home—taking care of kids—I belong out there with my team, taking care of people that are caught within the worst 20 minutes of their life."

Her dad stared at her for a second then smiled, "That's what I like to hear."

She laughed, her dad always knew how to mess with her head, "So I can go back—?"

"Are you going to let your old man stop ya?"

She shook her head and hugged him tightly, "I love you dad."

"Love you too sweetie." He mumbled. "But—Nevermind." The moment was too sweet to bring the original issue back into the picture. He held onto her like he hadn't seen her in forever—which he hadn't. "I missed being here—."

"But when do you need to be back at work?" He asked her.

She shrugged, "I should be back right now—But—I'm just not ready."

"Well no one's forcing you to get back on the job so soon."

"But dad—I'm supposed to be there. I've probably lost my job over all of this."

Her father shook his head and kissed her forehead, "Don't worry baby girl—Why don't you just head downstairs and grab something to eat, you've got to be hungry."

She glanced at him for a moment and nodded, turning to leave and walk downstairs.

"I see he didn't yell at you like he did the night you came home from that party in the 10th grade." Josh spoke suddenly as he came out of his room. Jules looked over and giggled, "No—It was pretty calm actually. He didn't even bring up—."

"You wanna go see the new land we bought?" Josh asked calmly. Jules smiled and nodded, "Sure." When he tossed her a helmet from the closet she giggled, "What in the—."

"Four wheeler—Bet ya haven't ridden one of those in a while."

She shook her head and followed him outside to the driveway where he had one parked, "Hop on" He stated as they climbed onto the red, dirt-covered four wheeler, and tore out of the driveway, ripping through the grass and mud.

--------------

"Sergeant—It's Callaghan."

***

"Jack Callaghan—Haven't heard from you in a while. How are you?"

***

Jules' father coughed silently, "Getting old. Sergeant—We need to discuss something."

***

"I know why you're calling."

***

"Why did no one tell me that my daughter was shot?"

***

"She wanted to keep it between the team. Jules wouldn't let us give any information to reporters or anything. She wanted it to be kept a secret."

***

"Well she's my daughter! How the hell could you even let her get shot! You promised to me—."

***

"I said I would keep her safe, but I cant control the subjects out there. She was in full gear and was just as protected as every other officer out there."

***

Jack leaned back into the chair he was sitting in, looking out the window as he saw his son and daughter riding a four-wheeler over the worn grass field. "It's just—If I had to claim her body like I did my wife's—I don't know what I'd do with myself. She's my little girl and her being put on the line like this just scares the hell out of me."

***

"But she's incredible at what she does."

***

"Then why was she using steroids."

***

Greg swallowed deeply and sighed, "Jack…You know how this job goes, one minute you think you're in the game—the next minute you feel like you're behind. Jules came back strong but something in her told her she wasn't strong enough."

***

"I know, I know—It just tears me up thinking that she doesn't feel strong enough for it. I mean—I was wondering if she should just stick out here in Medicine Hat for a while."

***

"Jack—She cant leave the team over this."

***

He shrugged, "And why not?"

***

"She's got a place here at the SRU. She's family to us, we love her—."

***

"Who's this boy I hear of?" He asked curiously, not knowing what Greg's response would be.

***

Greg sighed, "Constable Braddock—He's on the team. Ex-JTF2 guy, her partner."

***

"The man who let my daughter take a bullet?"

***

"Jack—He didn't cause that. He loves her more than anything in the world—he was the one at her bedside for weeks while she healed. I'm supposed to get them to break up within the next two weeks but hell I cant do it."

***

"Well end it."

***

"But—."

***

"She doesn't need a man in her life. Its stressful enough as it is. Keep that guy away from my daughter—threaten their jobs, I don't care—Just do it. This job is risky enough as it is—but adding a man she loves working by her side everyday will only end with someone getting hurt, physically or mentally."

***

Greg took a deep breath, "Mr. Callaghan—she's a grown woman—and neither of us are going to make decisions for her. It was nice hearing from you."

----------------------------

Jack just grunted in frustration and hung up the phone, slinging it to a chair next to him and exchanging it with a frame. He looked down at the picture of Jules at eight years old—at her first paintball competition. She was dressed in full gear and holding her first paintball gun, holding it in one hand and her dad's hand in the other.

"_You've grown up over the years, but you're still my little girl—and I wont ever let anything happen to you." _He thought as he stared at the picture, wiping a tear from his face. He put it down and walked over to the window to see Josh out in the field tackling Jules like they were kids again, "You finally got away from there—no way in hell am I letting you go back."

**BLEH! I hate crappy endings…even though I always write crappy endings. Oh well, I'll try to update soon (: I have a three day weekend this weekend so yay (: Three days I can update! **


	11. Chapter 11

"Oh my gosh that was so much fun." Jules smiled and laughed as she and Josh made their way back into the house through the back door.

Jack had settled himself on the couch, trying to relax and let his plan he conjured up, set in place.

"Hey Dad." Jules said sweetly as she and her brother headed into the living room and she fell back on the couch, next to her father. "How ya feeling?"

"Oh—I'm fine. But would you mind—would you mind grabbing my meds and a glass of water for me off the counter?" He pulled a pitiful look that sank right through her.

"Be right back." She spoke, jumping up and running to the kitchen.

Josh shot him a glare, "Don't you dare—."

"Hush Boy—I've got this."

Josh shook his head sternly, "She's not gonna stay here and work for you—we talked, she's got a family back in Toronto—her team."

"That's not her family, son, she belongs here." Her father stated, sitting up sternly.

"You cant tell her what she can and cant do." Josh defended.

A fist hit him across the face. He turned and headed for the stairs, "No wonder she left—."

Jules who was returned back into the living room. "Here you go dad." She said, handing him the water and pills.

"Thank you sweetheart—Just as sweet as when you were little."

Jules giggled, "So where'd Josh go?"

"Leave him—He's just mad over something."

She glanced around the room then nodded. "I'm gonna go—I'm gonna head up to my room for a bit. It's been a long day."

Her father stared at her for a moment, then shrugged it off and let her leave.

"Josh—?" Jules whispered as she came to his bedroom door. "Oh my—Josh?" She stopped as he turned to face her with a wet cloth covered in blood was being held to his nose. "He didn't—."

Josh nodded, "He told me I couldn't leave once I came back. I didn't want you to know—but he's back to his old shit. He says it takes away the pain of him getting old. So he just takes it out on me."

"Josh—." Jules sighed, sitting him down on his bed and taking the cloth into her hands and holding it on his face, "Why haven't you left other times?"

"I'm not as strong as you, sis. He'll come after me—I've got no one protecting me."

Jules sighed but let out a little giggle, "But your baby sister does? I'm the one who did steroids because I wasn't strong enough."

He nodded, "But you've got a team—a family that loves you."

"I also have a family. You—and our bothers—and our father."

"Jules, just—tonight—get out of here, I don't want to see you go through the pain you did when you were little. Back then he did it out of grief—now its out of pain. He doesn't want you to go back and—."

"Stand up—both of you." A sudden voice broke from the doorway.

Jack Callaghan stood with his arms crossed but ready to lunge out.

"Dad—." Jules sighed as she handed Josh the cloth and they both stood up. Josh put a hand in front of her, pushing her back.

"Don't defend your sister, boy—she can handle herself. I've always taught you two to respect me, and this is what I get in return? Talking about me behind my back?"

"But Dad—." Jules started again. Jack stepped forward and slapped her across the face, making her fall back against the wall.

"Damn it don't touch her!" Josh yelled, slinging his fist at his father, only to be knocked across the forehead and to the ground. He opened his eyes to see Jules falling against the wall, holding her face in tears—their father was gone. "Come here." Josh whispered, grabbing his head in pain as he sat up and took her hand. "He placed two hands on her arms and lifted her next to him on the edge of his bed. "He's gone." He whispered again, wrapping his arms around her.

Jules shook her head slowly, "I knew there was a reason I never came home—I knew it. He just couldn't stay away from hurting us—and after all these years we've never told on him."

"Maybe its time—I mean, you could get your team to—."

"What team? Ever since what happened, they don't want to have anything to do with me and I don't want to have anything to do with them."

Josh sighed and pulled Jules' legs over his lap, "I'm sorry for making him get all mad and upset. Are you okay?"

Jules nodded slowly and pressed her face against his chest. "It's been a long time since we've had to do this."

"He hits me about once a week—and that's a good week. I remember when right after mom died he would yell and scream and beat us for not understanding the pain of him losing his wife."

"When I was 14—I remember the time when he hit me so hard I couldn't go to school for days."

"This is completely out of control. Its been going on our whole lives. But now that he's old and getting weaker—he's turned to illegal steroids for more strength. Jules—That's why he was so freaked out by you doing them."

Jules let out a soft gasp and let her eyes fall to Josh's shoulder, "We've gotta help him."

"But what if—."

"He kills us? Well, we wont let that happen. Josh—we've gotta help him and get out of here. I'm not leaving you again."

"Jules, you're my little sister, you don't need to be taking care of me."

She sighed, "We're going to deal with this together—no matter how much pain he puts us through."

"And how the hell are we going to do that?"

Jules stood up and walked to her room, Josh following closely, "We become equal with him." She stuck her hand into her bag and pulled out a smaller bag, unzipping it slowly.

"Jules—?"

She looked up at him as she pulled out two vials and needles, "No one ever found them. Just a few injections and we can wipe out what he's done to himself—plus, I have a plan."

Josh shook his head low and brushed his fingers through his light brown hair, "I'm gonna trust that." He whispered, taking the needle and vials from her hand and shoving them in his pocket of his jacket. He smiled at her then pulled her into a hug, feeling her wrap her arms tightly around him and take a deep breath against his chest.

_The reason why she had come home was now affecting her in the only place she had found some sort of peace…This could only end in disaster._

**REVIEW!**


	12. Chapter 12

"Over 24 hours they start to take affect." Jules stated quietly as she and her brother tossed the empty vial back into a bag in the middle of the night while their father was sleeping. "Now we gotta go down to his bathroom and get his—so we can replace them with fakes."

Josh nodded, "I'll go. You stay here."

"But what if—?"

"He wont wake up. Just let me go get them—okay?"

Jules nodded as her brother crept out of Jules' room and headed down the hallway and into their father's bathroom.

"Got them." He whispered, cracking the door shut as they started to empty and refill vials, then Josh took them back to the bathroom.

"Get some sleep—He's been pretty pissed off so we need to be alert and know whats coming." Josh whispered as he hugged Jules gently and left the room.

Jules felt the need to talk to someone—Sam. She texted him a single text, _Tell the guys I'm doing fine. I miss you all. –Jules_

Within minutes she received a text back… _We all miss you too. I love you —Sam._

A tear rolled down her cheek slowly, _"I love you too." _Her text read as she hit the send button and tossed the phone under one of her pillows before piling down into it in tears. She began to wish she had never left her family and gone off on her own—but then again—she would have never met the most amazing guy in her life or even seen how strong she can be on her own.

Jules sat up and looked in the mirror to see a large bruise forming on the side of her face from where her father hit her—what a great guy? She made her way back into bed and turned out the lights, fumbling with the covers until she set into a deep sleep—only to be awoken hours later.

"Jules! Jules wake up!" Josh yelled, shaking her frantically.

She jerked up, "What!?"

"Dad must've drugged himself once we started to head on to bed! Jules, he's not waking up. I usually check on him in the middle of the night whenever he's not acting like himself but this time he's lying on the bathroom floor unconscious."

Jules jumped out of bed and grabbed the closest jacket she could find as they ran down the hallway, "Have you called 911!?" She asked, twisting the door knob to the first room.

"They're on their way, Come on Jules—you know all of the same procedures an EMT knows. I know you can help him."

Jules dove to the floor once she saw her father lying there—his wrists covered in blood. "He cut himself. I need towels, rags, anything! And read whatever the hell that medicine container says over there." She pointed out an orange pill container with a prescription written on the front.

"Fentanyl—." Josh read as he lifted the orange pill container into his hand. "What is it?"

"Cancer medication? Why does he even have those? Does he—?"

Josh shrugged as he walked around collecting towels and other materials. "He said he was going to a therapist for depression?"

"Josh! I thought you were taking care of him!" Jules jerked, wrapping towels along the bloody wound. "Fentanyl is one of the easiest drugs to cause a fatal overdose…He needed help—with all the abuse and all of this…he was in pain."

"I cant help him if all he does is hit me, Jules!" He slammed the container to the floor and walked off as the ambulance arrived.

Jules looked down at her father, whose color was melting away before her eyes. "It's okay dad—Just stay with me." She knew he was gone—and frankly, after all the pain she had been put through by him, she could hardly care less—but she was his daughter and had to help him in any way she could.

"We've got it from here miss." A medic told her as her brother took her hand and led her out of the bathroom while paramedics loaded their father onto a stretcher.

Jules glanced up at Josh as he shook his head low.

"He doesn't have much of a pulse." She whispered to him as they followed the medics out of the house and towards the ambulance.

"Jules—." He mumbled back, wrapping his arms around her gently.

"We'll meet you at the hospital." He continued to speak to the medics as they closed the doors to the ambulance and drove off at max speed down the street.

"Let's get going." He whispered, placing a hand on her shoulder as they headed back inside to change into something warmer then get Josh's keys.

* * *

"I'm very sorry—There was nothing we could do. The drugs took over his body and were fatal. If there's anything we can do for you—we're here to help family members." An emergency room doctor spoke.

A tear ran down Jules' cheek as she leaned against Josh. "We'll be fine." Josh sighed, patting Jules' back slowly. He couldn't help but let a tear escape.

"I'm really sorry for your loss. He had pancreatic cancer—the files state he decided to ride it out and it was determined that with the diagnosis he had about 5-7 months of survival. He was about to head downhill. All you can think is that now he is out of pain."

They both nodded and gave a soft smile.

"You two on the other hand—." The doctor said sternly. "Ma'am—as an emergency physician I know a fresh bruise when I see one—and that looks like the shape of a hand to me."

Jules dropped her eyes slowly.

"A serious blow to the head could result in concussion—would you like a doctor to check on you?"

Jules looked over to Josh then up to the doctor, "I'll be fine—now."

The doctor looked down at their father's chart. "It says he suffered from depression—was on multiple pain medications—and the psychiatrist notes state he was abusive through the process of recovery."

Jules and Josh both nodded slowly, "Don't worry about it. Can we—Can we see him?" Jules asked softly.

"Jules—." Josh sighed, wanting to take her home so she could pack her things and both of them escape to the city where he knew she belonged.

"He's still in a trauma room. A nurse is prepping him to be taken to the morgue. Your family takes it from there."

Jules nodded and took charge, following the doctor through the automatic doors and to the trauma room. Seeing her father lying there, a nurse rolling back the white sheet, she felt guilty—for not being there all those years—for not just taking the pain he inflicted on her daily, etc. But then she thought of the pain he was in—compared to what she and her brothers went through daily once their mother died.

"Dad—." Jules sighed, placing her hand on his. Josh stepped up beside her, "Let's get you home—I'll call the others and tell them what's going on." Josh sighed, knowing the other brothers knew the pain their father put on all of them as children—but they had been lucky enough to get away from it all.

"I'm not a little girl any more, Josh—I can take care of myself." Jules jerked, he didn't take it personally—when their mother died she was standing next to her. A gun shot to the chest and she was taken to the floor, blood surrounding her body as a little girl fell to the ground beside her mother, shaking her and screaming for her to wake up…

…Her father never really let go of the fact that she was the only one in the room with her mother when a gun was fired, killing his wife in a single shot.

"Jules, don't do this." He told her, knowing how she got when relatives died.

"I'm fine—I just—."

"We need to get out of here. Say goodbye to him—there's nothing else we could do. You heard the doctor—at least he isn't in pain anymore."

She nodded slowly and patted her father's hand, then following her brother out of the room.

Nurses and doctors wondered why neither of them were in full-fledge tears…but they just couldn't. Years after years of abuse—they had cried enough tears because of that man.

* * *

"Jerry's gonna fly in tomorrow. Matt and Sean just said they would come for the funeral."

"Wow, our family sure is sensitive." Jules spoke sarcastically as she sat down at the kitchen table.

Josh sighed, "Well the man did do a lot of—."

"Forget about him. Look at what I've done now. I've put steroids back in my body. The chances of me every stopping them now is slim as hell."

"After the funeral dates are done and overwith—You're going home." Josh said sternly.

"No I'm not." She responded, keeping her glare from him.

He sat down next to her, "I'm going too—I'm going to go to the city and get the hell away from this place. Your team needs you—and whoever this guy you fighting to not be in love with, needs you."

Jules giggled, "You really could always read me like a book."

"Yeah—And if you want, I'll stay with you and help you get past this. You don't need steroids—you just need someone to help you keep them away."

She nodded slowly, "I—I'll go back."

She knew it was time to give up the drama and go back to where she belonged, no matter what she would have to face.

**Wayyyyyyyyy confusing chapter….I know. **

**Anyways, soooorrryyy for the delay. Please review!**


	13. Chapter 13

***A week later***

"Well at least you got time off." Jules sighed as she looked out the window of the plane, her thoughts getting lost in the clouds.

"Yeah—You think you're gonna get back into work once we get back into the city?"

She shrugged, "It'll take some time." With that she lifted her purse to her lap and pulled out a mirror, "The last real memory I have of him is this bruise—but at least its going away."

He nodded slowly, "You look fine, Jules. How are you feelin without the steroids?"

Jules let off another slight shrug, "I haven't had access to any—I haven't felt tempted to use them though."

Josh smiled and leaned over to hug her gently, "Everything will get back to normal for you."

She continued to stare out the window as she remembered telling Sam that nothing would ever go back to normal for her.

* * *

"You can put all of your things in the guest room." Jules stated as she opened the door to her house for the first time in weeks.

"Nice place—Thanks." He told her, carrying his bags down the hallway and dropping them on the bed.

"So—What do you want to do?" He asked as he walked back to the kitchen where she was standing, or rather leaning against the counter.

She looked up from her hands, "Stay away from everything—everyone."

"You should go talk to him." Josh smiled. "I'm sure he'd be glad to see you're back and okay. Did you ever tell him about dad?"

"I didn't tell anyone. I don't want him to see me with a bruise still on my face from what dad did to me. I don't want to have to explain myself to him."

* * *

Sam drove slowly through the streets of downtown, then headed towards Jules' neighborhood only to find her car out in the driveway other than in her garage.

She was home—and he knew it.

Sam pulled his truck over to the curb and headed towards her house, full speed ahead, knowing he didn't want to change his mind—but then again, he hadn't seen her in weeks, how would she react to seeing him again? She told him that she loved him—and that was stated in text for proof.

The doorbell rang in a monotone.

Jules stared up at Josh for a moment until he kissed her forehead and hugged her gently, "I'll give you two some time." He told her, walking off to the guest room.

She slowly stepped to the door to see Sam practically shaking with his heartbeat on the front step.

"Sam—." She mumbled, slowly opening the door.

He smiled softly, "Everything okay?"

After a silent moment she bit her lip and shook her head slowly, her straight glare turning into a frown as tears rand down her cheeks. She fell against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. "You wanna talk about it?"

She nodded and pulled away from the hug, wiping her eyes quickly and pulling him inside the house, closing the door. "My brother came back with me, he's somewhere around here."

Sam smiled. He knew that Jules had good terms with her brothers and could always count on them for everything.

They sat down on her couch together, Sam dragging her legs over top of his. "What's wrong Jules?"

She bit her lip and sighed, "My Dad died while I was up there."

Sam's expression dropped, seeing her give a non-emotional response surprised him. "I'm so, so sorry, Jules." He whispered, kissing her gently on the cheek and pulling her to him.

"A lot happened while I was there—but its all over now. I just—My life will never be normal after all of this steroid crap."

Sam shrugged, "I think you seem pretty okay to me. When was the last time you used them?"

"A week and half ago—but it was for a purpose. My brother and I—oh never mind." She sighed, no one would ever understand.

"But other than that—?"

"Weeks—I haven't even been tempted to use them."

Sam smiled and pulled her into a kiss, "I knew you could do it."

She was proud of herself for once. After all she had gone through the past few weeks, heck months—It felt good to finally be able to relax and know she wasn't doing something wrong.

"Sam—What I told you in that text—I meant."

Looking straight at her, he smiled softly, intertwining his hands with hers. "I'm so proud of you."

"I'm proud of myself." She giggled, moving her eyes to follow his hand as he stroked her hair. "What do you say we go see the team? They miss you more than anything, Jules."

She shrugged, "I don't know—It would be so awkward—."

"Come on—I went back after running away with you. They understand…all of us have our moments. It's one of the toughest jobs out there—and we're all gonna get lost sometime or another."

Jules smiled softly and kissed him gently on the lips, "I missed you so much." She whispered. He smiled in reply and kissed her once more gently. "I missed you more."

* * *

"Josh—this is Sam. Sam this is my brother, Josh." Jules introduced the two after Josh came out of hiding.

"So you're the guy that's been doing my little sister." He chuckled, shaking Sam's hand.

Sam laughed and raised his eyebrows as he pulled Jules to him.

"You guys look great together." He smiled, patting Sam on the shoulder.

"You wanna come with us to the station?" Jules asked Josh, as she and Sam got ready to leave. He nodded with a smile, "Sure—I'd like that."

* * *

"See! Look at that! Jules can get two guys and you cant even get one robot to like you." Lou laughed loudly as he and Spike worked on Babycakes.

"Jules—." Greg smiled, walking forward to hug her. His arms held her tightly as she was hugged against him. "It's great to see you."

"I missed you guys." Jules sighed, hugging the rest of them. "This is my brother, Josh, by the way."

"I remember you—You're the brother that came down here trying to force Jules to come home with you." Greg chuckled.

"She's the best sister in the world—I missed her like crazy…but I see she's got quite a protective family here that wouldn't ever let her get messed with." Josh smiled, wrapping his arm over her shoulder.

"You've got that right." Ed smiled along with the rest of the team. Jules was back where she belonged, finally—She had her team, family, and a man she loved—.

**********One month later **********

"You ready for your first day back?" Wordy asked as Jules joined them in the briefing room.

"You know it." She giggled, taking her seat between Ed and Sam.

"We all have rough spots in the job—but that's why we're a team. We're here to help each other through the tougher times." Greg spoke as he took a seat at the head of the table. Everyone smiled and nodded—While Sam's hand wrapped around Jules' under the table.

Over two months of no steroids—and with the support of her friends and family—Jules could get back into the field of work she loved.

_**Work it harder, make it better**_

_**Do it faster, makes us stronger**_

_**More than ever, Hour after **_

_**Our work is never over.**_

**The End.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing! Leave one last review please!! (:**

**Song: Harder, better, faster, stronger- Daft Punk**

**Happpyyyyy Thanksgiving yall!**


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